Things unpredictable

Recently, one of my colleagues sold me a Samsung (Omnia lite) mobile phone for 360 dollars. At the first look, I thought it seems to better than my HTC, but I must admit that I had done impulsive buying. Maybe I should take some moments to consider, but then since I bought, I should be happy with it.


The screen (3.0”) is bigger than my HTC phone (2.8”). On the positive side, I still managed to surf the net / msn and face book (not face book games). The screen is too small for a good internet surfing, I think a pc would be much better. On the downside, I couldn’t choose the type of ring tone I want. I think I would miss the cartoon (doreamon) ringtone for a while. But then since I can’t find a good ringtone, I should just settle for a simple ringing tone.


From this, I learnt a lesson. Happiness does not come from materialistic gain, but from contentment. My pc broke down recently so I had some chance to pick up some time to read, so I think it is a blessing in a disguise. My sis managed to get me a new CPU with her company at 700 dollars, I should be getting it latest month end. Notebook wise, I would push to next year to see if I would buy an I-pad? Things are unpredictable, so I should just fold my arms, wait and see.

My PC finally broke down, particularly at a time when my cash flow was the lowest in months. Since September last year, the graphic card has been giving out signal of spoiling as my monitor screen often black out. This is also the second time that my power box spoilt. Looking forward, I think it’s time to change a new CPU, since repairing the old CPU might not last that long. Is there any suggestion from my friends?


Without my PC, I can’t surf to face book and play maple. Last Saturday, I went to national library to use the terminal, and although I can go online to face book, but I couldn’t log on to any of the games as it has been blocked by the library system.


For the last two days, I spent relatively most of my time cleaning up the house instead of playing maple. I had also spare some time to read some books. It’s has been a relatively difficult time as I was so used to sit in front of my pc to pass time. But then after the two days, I realized that times are still bearable after all


Looking forward, it seems that I had to wait until next month to get a new pc as I have spent all my spare cash on my van insurance. The plan to do farming for Maple Sea fall off, I had less time to play on my face book game (Restaurant city, Farmville and FFS). Looking on the positive side, I guess with my pc down, I could reduce my dependency on computers and spent times on some other things. I hope to spend more time reading books (Tao de ching) and maybe some exercise.




Finally, I just hope I can save enough to buy a CPU start of next month; my new mobile phone would have to wait until august. GOD Bless

上一個禮拜六(五月一號), 我和我的家人( 我的母親和外公)到金沙綜合娛樂城去走了一下。自已駕車到了那里。從外面看起來，是建得還不錯。但到了里面，才發現一部份還未建好。

從底層走到上面，經過一些店面，有一半是還未開張的。另外一半大多數是賣名牌貨，大概是給有錢的外國人來買的吧。除了賭城以外，好象也沒有什麼其他的可以看。或許應該 多儿個月才來

我們在賭城外待了一下子就走了。心里想，賭博真的那麼好？賭一定輸，時間一定輸掉。進賭城，還沒賭，先輸一百元。勝算這麼少，然而卻這麼多人要來，真的很難猜這些人的意。或許對我而言，免費，我大概也不會進去。



走了一個多小時，在娛樂城里面，沒什麼可以看的，外面就是太熱了，便打算回家。這時才發現，停車費高達十元這麼多。因為在停車場外面沒有寫清楚，有感覺被「騙」而大出血，以後如果可以，搭公共交通比較好。

工作還可以吧，從一位同事當中，學到了一個道理。工作最重要的是「人」，最不重要的是「工」。為了把工作完成，而得罪周圍的同事，就算把東西做得很好，也沒有用。但如果把「人事」搞好。雖然東西做不好，或許也會有同事會幫。「工」是作完就完了，但「同事」還會待好一段時間。學會這層道理，到那里作工都會開心。不然天天換工作，也不會開心的。

在五月份，我把車的保險還了。這個月要超級省錢，還好，自已的母親有幫一點。希望到六月會好一點，可以換一個手機。

march Blog

In the month of March, there are several things I missed out. I didn’t managed to visit the career fair in the first week. I had also missed out on the IT fair on the second week, and again I missed out on the JOBsDB fair last week also. Time fly so fast and I have yet to finish the things that I’m tasked to do. Reason? I have not been motivated recently, why have I being so lazy?

In this month, nothing special really happens, so I just drop a line to say thanks GOD , as no bad news equals to GOOD news.

Today is weixin Jie Jie birthday, I haven’t seen her a long long time. Just hope she had a very nice day today.

Nex month wise, I am unable to go my to Malacca due to a clash in activities, just hope I can find time to go back this year. But before that, I should change my passport.

2nd part to bai nian 2010

Time fly fast, and 15 days of Chinese new year has passed. I have collected 6-8 “ang baos” , but I has yet to count the content inside. With a blink to a few of the ang baos, it shows either a 10 dollar note or a few of two dollars note. i guess the total should be around 50 plus, so I should tide me over for a short while.
I didn’t catch up with any of my father’s relative as they claim to be busy when I try to schedule a time to visit them. But it’s ok , I can still visit them next year.

On Sunday, I had the second group of people visiting my house( Tian wei and Zhi xian ). It was very nice of them to take MRT from very far central or woodlands to Jurong. they sat for 45 minutes or so and help to eat the junk of tibits I bought for new year. The downside is that I forgot to take a group photo with them, so unable to post. Later we went to li jing house(didn’t take any photo also). We didn’t managed to go cang hai house as I was unable to reach him in his mobile phone


Looking back at this 15 days, I think it’s nice overall. I do meet up with Alan, Siwei , Yuanfeng and waimun. I also visited yunfu at his house during the last Saturday. Just hope that more people would visit me next year.

new year 2010 (1)

In this New Year, I had taken two day leave to be spent at home.

Sunday (14 feb) new year first day
Other than a visit to one of my friends at the early hours of mid night, I spent most of the day alone at home. My mum went back to Malacca in the morning, so I spent whole of the day “shou tan”.

There was no visitor to my house today; I spent very little time playing maple. But since most of my guild member didn’t log on at all, I log out after 15 minutes of game playing alone; I spent other time looking at face book and some other thing.
Today is also Valentine’s Day, for the people I took fancy of, I hope they are doing well when I msg them greetings. For those who I do not have their contact, I sincerely wish that GOD is also looking after their welfare. I guess I have done all I can do for love in this festive season, so I should find no reason to be sad. I got YJ’s message greetings, I guess its good enough already.


Monday (15 Feb.)
As per initial plan, I was supposed to visit my friends at pasir Ris. But there is a mixed up of timing (10 am was mistakenly typed to 10pm). I canceled the visit as I can’t make it at 10pm. But the group of people came in the evening to relay the msg, so I guess I make a mistake by not calling to verify the timing. This is something I should improve next year

Fortunately, Deming was free to come out with me, and we visited 4 places (2 places with Lijing and Li Hui ). We spent our lunch at Ru da house, and visited meng jing house at woodlands for the last venue. This is the furthest venue to be visited this year. For next year, we should strive to visit a bit further

In the evening, the first group of 15 visitors came to my house. Since I wasn’t mentally prepared for such a large group, they have to sit on the floor. This is something I will have to improve next year.

Overall , today is the happiest of the 4 days. I sincerely hope they can visit me the next year also.


Tuesday (16 Feb.)
I went to my dad house in the morning, and as per usual he doesn’t even bother to celebrate Chinese New Year. There is nothing much I can do , except to pray for his well being. I spent most of the other times at FO tang bah.


Wedesday (17 Feb.)
I spent the whole day playing maple with 2x,and managed to clear a very difficult 2 levels( to level 132) . Since leveling is super difficult for 4th job warrior like myself. I guess I should stay away from maple for a fortnight so I could concentrate on other things


Other thoughts
I didn’t hear from my secondary school friends on any potential gathering at any of their house. Siwei went to Genting with his family, so I can’t meet up with him either.

Hopefully few days coming down the road, I will be able to see waimun, siwei , yuanfeng and alan. i will outline my new year resolution as soon as possible in my next blog.

難過的曰子

近來都有一些難過，讓我想了又想。

我猜想難過應該是被人罵到狗血淋頭，但又沒有辯白的機會。難過是做錯事，但沒機會道歉。難過寫在blog上面又被罵，不得以又拿下來。有苦難言或許才是真真的難過。

朋友，請了解我還是人，當我作錯東西時，請原諒我，我只是近來壓力非常的大。朋友，我只希望我做錯事情的時候，請及時提醒我，當我做對事時，請鼓勷我。當我孤單的時候，請找我聊天吧？


情人節要到了，或許每年到了這個時候，就會有季節性的難過。新年到了，想到要拜年也有一定的難過。不知几時才會拍拖，不知几時才會結婚。想到今年拜年又可以拿紅包了，心中有一股講不出的壓力。希望可以的話，今年就在家里，不要出門拜年。不出門，或許可以省錢吧。

難過的時候，我發覺自已比較容易振作，或許每 一次的難過，都是上天仁慈的安排吧。

一句名言，「不想過，也得過，不要過，也過得差不多了。」就是這樣。難過忍一下，忍不了的時候，和自已說，再忍一下，難過很快就會過去的。天下沒有下不完的兩，忍多一下，難過就過了。


新年要到了，新的衣服都還沒買。還好我姐姐幫自已買了兩件。鞋子也還沒買，看樣子，就不買了。穿安全鞋去拜年，大概也不會有人註意吧

我想初一，我會在家，沒有出門。初二，還沒有決定吧。上午時份，希望有人可以讓我去拜年。初三早上，會看我老爸，會忙一整天，大概也是好事。初四，如果沒人來和自已拜年，就在家打maple 吧，
總而言之，只要平平談談的過這個新年就很好了，GOD BLESS.

a sad weekend indeed

On 7 Feb, my mum and I were invited to attend my cousin’s child full moon birthday. The venue was at a multipurpose hall at AMK St 32. I sincerely thought that without transport, my father would not come. To my surprise, he turns up instead (by taking MRT).

While most of us stay in the hall, he sits alone outside the hall drinking whisky (provided free by my uncle). I try to talk to him, but he always chases me away when I try get near him.

Around 1520 hours, I brought my mum home. At 1715 hours, my uncle calls to tell me that my father is drunk and need me to fetch him home. I have no option but to travel to ang mo kio again. I reached there around 1740 hours. My father had been sleeping on the floor. When he wakes up, he made a lot of din that embarrass my uncle and his family, in such, my uncle is very upset for this.
I try to bring him home, but he refused to take my van. There is nothing I can do except to see him sleep on a nearby grass patch for a few hours until 2045. I miss the night activities as I could not bear to leave my father alone. After he got sober, he insisted that he take MRT home. I can only see him to the MRT station which after I went home myself.

It’s a difficult situation like this; I guess I can only stand at my father side. Looking forward, my uncle has regretted inviting my dad there. It may means they might not invite my father again for any other celebration. I can only pray that my father can improve when times to come. GOD bless.

Life is a one way street, in such that I can only go forward but not backward. Friendship is like a piece of fragile ornament, once you broke it, there is no way to repair it. Maybe dumping them away is the only means I had, and maybe it looks like it’s a much easier route to take (and the sole route).

[To a person unknown] I never meant to irritate you or anybody I pass by, but then , if damage is being done, I guess a million apologies would be a lousier option compared to staying away. So I decide to keep quiet and stay away as far as possible. Just hope you understand and don’t get upset.

三十六計，走為上計。大概就是這個意思。Looking forward, I must not make the same mistake again. GOD Bless.

cheers
toii

想人「仁」的月份(一月)review

經過了一個忙碌的月份 , 讓我對「仁」有一些新的体會吧。
在這個月當中，不時在想著這一個人。常常看著她不常UPDATE 的FB。
POST的問題也沒有回應。猜想是自已想「人」中毒太深了吧。
想「仁」就是只求付出，不求回報的「愛」吧。因為這樣，想一人只要她開心，就不用執著一定要看到她的臉，听到她的聲音，或收到她的消息。

想「仁」應該是「已所不欲 ，勿施于人」。因為這樣，常常提醒自已，不要講錯話，和作錯事。
有時候，看開是件好事吧，他人不喜歡，就不要勉強去add 他人，因為勉強不是「仁」的表現。

我想「仁」就是這樣的意思吧。
「我想仁」這句話，把「我」給去掉，就很接近「仁」的境界吧
「我想人」這句話，把「我」給去掉，「想人」也會比較開心。
只要可以「想」，大概就可以開心了。
道德經有說，「塞其兌，閉其門」。只要塞閉通往地獄的道路，大概是很靠近天堂了。

Last blog for the year 2009

I have been missing someone (YJ) recently. Someone, whom I shouldn’t, had been thinking at all. If this happens 10 years ago or more, I would have easily convinced it is love. But today, I must admit that I’m more than confused then convinced. I can’t believe that I am missing someone 14 year old younger than my age. I used to believe that 6-8 years in age gap is the maximum I can accept for a relationship. Secondly, it is again another tall girl, possibly 5 cm taller (or more) than myself (I guess). I wonder why the gals that I like were so tall. Is there anything wrong with myself? Or is it with my expectation? Maybe I should seek help from someone “up” there, or “out” there, somewhere but don’t know where. ( hahaha)


Jokes aside, I tell myself, I have convinced myself that theoretically, this kind of relationship can’t work. But practically, I must admit that I take a very long while to overcome this difficult time. I will miss being called “Ah ma”. This “Ah ma” will be different from the fierce “Ah ma” (Anego) from maple (and her famous Ah ma slap). Instead I will spent more time smiling and stay cheerful. Fortunately, this someone is a girl that I won’t have the chance to see often, most probably once a year bah. She doesn’t use pc often, and had no face book or anything like that.


Looking back at the year 2009 at the two wishes I made, here’s a briefly review on the status.

1) Work - I wish to change for a better job with better prospect and better pay.
Results - I am now with a new employment. It’s a better job with a better pay, but
prospect wise, I guess not very good. I am still holding a pure drafting job with a year
contract. But then the things that have changed a lot are my expectation. I start to expect
less, give more, no longer complaining about anything. As long as I can get a decent pay
and pass time, I guess I have no other wishes.

2) Love –wishes for a GF
Results - 0(zero), nothing happen. No progress at all. Reason I guess it’s was because I ran
out of courage, out of steam and out of power. I had done nothing at all in this particular
directions, I guess results is perfectly ok.


Looking beyond to 2010, what wishes do I want to have? I guess I would just want to maintain the same quota. As long things don’t get worse, I guess it should be some good news to me. LOVE wise, to believe that I can strike lottery without buying one is simply ridiculous. But I believe that GOD is looking after my welfare, so all I can do is wait and wait.


Purchase wise, I should start saving to replace my PC coming weeks. I need to change my spectacles soon. Maybe with enough budget, I could buy a new handpone coming april (most likely I should be taking back a NOKIA) and possibly a notebook by mid year 2010.


Finally the Motto for the year 2010….少則得，多則惑。。。知足常樂。
Be happy
GOD always bless
Cheers
Toii

Blog for december 09

十二月五日是我的小舅的結婚。那天早上，我便拿了假和我的外公去吉隆坡。我母親但心我的外公走路慢，而錯過十一點的巴士，便一早摧促我們要早出門。我和外公早上8.05便出門了。

到了柔佛車站才十點鐘，早了一個小時。我想，早到不如晚到吧。巴士十一點就開車了。中途只在休息站等了五分鐘。到吉隆坡已是下午四點十五分了。

第一次搭公車到吉隆坡，感覺那里的交通很擁擠。我的小舅用了一個小時才接到我們。那里的轉換站也沒有向馬六甲和柔佛一樣好。可能我下一次來會比較好吧。

傍晚，我們和我小舅的太太便到餐館用飯。之後便到我小舅的新家過夜。本來想要去我三舅那里的。但听說他最近都很忙，這几天也沒能照待我。我看下一次會等相當久吧。

晚上，我沒事作，便看三國演儀，打發時間。第二天也是一樣，我小舅的結禮沒有自已以為有的敬茶。因為這樣，我開始後悔早一天進來，而作不到東西。但也算了。當作是休息一下。

到傍晚，我的几個姨姨和舅舅從馬六甲到我小舅的家，坐了一下，大家便一起去到酒樓。到那已是六點三十分了。那里有十個桌左右，但好象很空的樣子。節目的開始就有牧師在講福音，之後唱教堂的聖歌。之後又是福音分享。平常會在婚禮听到或听到的情話和請歌，在這里到沒有。上半段几乎都都講耶穌的道理，這大概是我見過最神聖的婚禮吧。

到了八點左右才開始自助餐，本來很空的桌子，忽然來了很多人。難到是他們不想听福音？不得而知。

之後也有一些節目，和表演。但自已猜想，也應該是教會的人吧。

節目到九點是結束了。听我的舅舅講，在吉隆坡大部份的店面很早就停止營業。所以沒有地方可以去，只好早點回去体息。

第二天下午，我和我的小舅去百貨公司走了一下，下午四點坐巴士回新加坡。我的外公便隨我的姨姨回馬六甲。以上就是第一次到吉隆坡的經過。

很快的，2009年就要到尾聲了。工作方面還相當順利。在maple 方面，相當辛苦的打了3個等級。到了129。進度也還不錯吧。

接下來，我又會在馬來西亞呆個十天吧。


Wish all My friends a merry Christmas
I am going to miss celebrating birthday with my best friend “ siwei” / and Yuan Feng
Wish them happy Birthday on 26th dec

I shall stop here

God Bless
Cheers
Toii

Blog Aug

In this blog, I should write something for the long waited Secondary school gathering (BVSS black and white Reunion). I got the news of this reunion thru face book. It took months of effort for the organizers to come out with such a reunion. Although the cost is relatively expensive (40 dollars). But since this is the first event in 15 years old, I guess the money is worth spent.

I do try to call (email and msg) a few of my friends for this event, most didn’t reply and for those replied, and the response isn’t good. They are busy, I guess.

On the day (15 ague 2009), I left my house early to take bus to my old school. I was one of the early birds to reach BVSS at around 1840 hours. Other than registering my name and to receive a souvenir, I was largely left alone. So I spent my time walking around the school, I wasn’t allowed back the classrooms, so I went to have a walk at the garden. The front garden I knew had shifted to the back. The area had undergone massive renovation, and it is no longer the same as before. I took some photo to be posted later.

The activities finally started at 2000 hours. Before that, I mingle around and managed to see some of my old teachers and the ex principal, Mr. Ow. Student wise, I only managed to see a 3 people (Ali , Ashar and Rosita) from my class and a couple more from the 1993 batch. Overall some 200-300 people attended the event. As I look around, I see more Malay people around compared to Chinese, maybe Malay friends are better? I don’t know. Just hope more of my Chinese friends could come for the next round.

The event started with some speech by the present principal (Mrs. Tan), her talk mainly centered on fund raising issue where we were repeatly encourage to donate to the school.
Mr. Ow follow on the second speech reviewing what had happen since 1986. At least Mr. Ow’s speech look better. After that a buffet started, at least there were some vegetarian mee hoon that I could tuck in, beside that I also help myself to some cake.

Activities following were a group of dancers using table tennis racket as a dance item. After was a group of pop band (formed by ex Bukit viewers). The performance was pretty interesting as all of them have done their best. There were also lucky draw of 20 prizes to be won, but I wasn’t lucky enough to win any. Final event is the most appropriate dress contest.

The event stayed until 2230, which after that I left for home.

Overall the event is quite ok, I didn’t managed to make any new friends in this process, but this is most expected. I just hope that the next gathering should come as soon or at least before Aug next year.

Just a note for my personal thing, I had not been playing maple for a week. But since I promised myself to complete some reading, I should extend my ban for another fortnight, I do still play a bit of face book games, particularly FFS. Through some strangers out there, my value had raised to 25Million. It was far better than I have expected earlier.
Maybe this is something friends can’t help.

Last thing, in another month time, my birthday is coming. What should I wish? I have decided that I won’t have any wish this year. I might even be working on that day

God bless
Chees
Toii

blog for JUn/Jul

Times flies, and half of the difficult year 09 had passed. Although I had spent more than half of the time unemployed, but I must give thanks to GOD for giving me a job at the time I require the most.

The job I am doing now surely is not my preferred option. But as days goes by, I started to reduce my expectation. I have started to accept the fate that drafting should be my job scope for many years to come. It is good to admit that I am only slightly better in ACAD, and poor at others.

Colleague relationship has improved gradually over the period. Although I spent most of my lunch time alone, there are once a while my colleagues would compromise their lunch venue to bring me to place where there are vegetarian.

Finance wise, I still not out of the woods yet. I still the guy which dries up almost everything in his bank few days before another pay day arrives, but at least I managed to clear some of the overdue phone and internet bills last month.

Personal wise, it had been a difficult moments when I “quarreled with some people over the Face book game “Friends for sale”. I indeed upset over the fiasco, but not because of all remarks passed by Zhiwei, but rather that no one stand by my side to speak up for me.

Finally, I deleted 5 friends over this issue and blocked one people.
But looking backwards, what are the consequences? I guess I lost all this “friends”. For a while, I ponder on the meaning of friends. I guess I will never have a perfect answer for such difficult question.

Looking at friends as a whole, I start to realize that many of the friends I had in Face book or Friendster didn’t talk to me at all. So I must admit that if friends ignore me, it is perfectly alright. If I being treated invisible, it was because, we have no topic between us.
If I had known and accept these fact, I would not have placed high hopes that someone could speak up for me. Then I would not have done all the deletion. But things have been done and glass broken, they are not reversible.

I guess I can only look ahead. Treasure friendship when they are around, let go if the heart is no longer there. The lesson I learnt is to be less reliable to friends, be independent more often and take charge of my life. I must admit that without friends, life can be boring. But other than this, life still goes on. I could overcome this period by finding books to read, and meaningful things to do.

I should also strive to play less game, particularly with teenagers. I must constantly remind myself that I already a 30 plus year old uncle, I can’t be playing games with young gals and boys (like FFS). I strive not to quarrel over minor game issue, give in / give up and go away when required. During times of misunderstanding, keep quiet would be a better solution.

In simple words, I don’t believe In Miracle. i no longer desire to make new friends. I told myself, I had more then enough friends. I should strive to chat less to those “friends” which reluctant to chat with me. 知足還是一好事。

I still playing maple. But without the active participation of guild members, I have been largely playing with myself. The desire to “raise level” is no longer there and I just play it to pass time.

Looking forward, my main focus for the coming months would still be on my parents and my job and my FO tang activities. Other than all this, I should strive to keep away from the other activities.

I should joining Karaoke during the next month company function. By keeping colleague relationship smooth, I can get a longer and better working environment with IR.

God bless everything I do
I should not ask for more.
God bless
Cheers
Toii

blog march09

16 mar 09
Its have been a long while, since I was being out of job. I have sent multiple jobs resume’s through email and online. With none came back at all, I start to get worried if the company actually received them

I got the only interview at NUS this month. On that morning, I earnestly am trying to remember how to make a tie. It’s being such a long time since I last use a tie. I fail to do a proper one after numerous attempts. Fortunately, I managed to find a website that teaches how to do a Tie.

I have been so nervous that I didn’t eat anything. I drank a cup of coffee and make my way there. I reached the place (SOC building one) at 0955 hours, which was 25 minutes early.

During the interview, I was guided to a sofa seat to wait for my turn. I wasn’t required to fill up any form or being asked for my certificates. So I try to cool myself down, prepare to answer some difficult question that the interviewer might post later.

After waiting for 40 minutes, I was called into the room with 3 interviewers. Despite such a large group (of interviewers) only the guy sitting in the center is doing something (asking questions) and the remaining two typically keeping quiet most of the time. I see a whole big stake of resumes in front of each of the interviewer. By counting number of resumes, I can see that at least 8-10 people and scheduled to be interviewed today

It turns out to be an “informal chat” which the guy passes poor comments on issues like my “useless adv Diploma and negative comments on my experience in MET office. When I ask about the job scope, the interviewer gave me an impression that the job is dull, and desk bound. It seems to me that they themselves have no passion in the work they do.

After a 15 minutes informal talk, I left the room. I guess the interview wasn’t a success. Since I can’t impress the interviewer, I should not bear any hope for the second interview.
Furthermore, I sincerely believe the job might not be suitable for me.


23 mar 09
After being unemployed for 6 weeks, I waited in vain for any more company to call for interview. My mother suggested I should visit the MP during the weekly meet the people sessions. I wasn’t very keen on the idea. But since I do not have any other option, I had to go and try my luck.

I went the area (Blk 184) in Taman Jurong at 0705 pm. There were already 20 odd people in front of me wanting to see the MP. I waited until 0745 before a guy came, took my IC and pass me a number (30). I waited another 30 minutes before my name has been called, where I sit in front of a female staff for verification of my purpose of seeing the MP.

It took another 20 minutes of waiting before I can go into the room for a session of interview. I did not see the MP as two volunteer staff attended to me instead. The session took less than a minute as the guy decides that going to CDC at Jurong east will be a more straight forward approach. From there I went home.

Looking backwards, taking almost two hours wait just to do a 5 minute interview seems a little waste of time. But then the staffs there were pretty helpful and friendly. I just hope all this effort could land me a job either permanent or temporary.

Finally, I should update on my personal life. Maple wise, I managed to complete Zak with the help of Guild mate, which mainly is “Ben”, “Max”, “sakura” and a few others. With the helm, I able to hunt higher level mob with increased accuracy (+22 acc). From
Here, I should strive for the 4th job coming days. I had brought 10k of A cash, planning for one day 2X and 2X drop.

Other things wise, I should just place them aside, job finding will be top priority, I convinced I will not have a chance at all for a GF for the year 2009 and beyond. I should strive to save more for my parents if any employment comes my way. Being single can be very nice when I see from a certain angle. Be contend, I believe 2009 will be the toughest year I ever endure.

I believe God bless
Cheers

09年﹐一段慢長的三百六十五天

今年零九年是牛年﹐股票是否像牛一樣上昇﹐還是像熊一樣下墜。每個人似乎不看好今年的走勢﹐大概我也一樣吧。


工作而言﹐一天不如一天。公司生意近來非常的差﹐同事doreen被rosalind逼走了﹐身為經理的jeffery竟然一句話也沒有說。作了十個月的同事﹐經理好在也應該幫doreen爭取到一點的福利。然而他卻沒有。或許你會告訴我﹐現在是一個非常現實的社會。每個人都之為自己著想﹐公司老闆也是一樣。如不賺錢﹐減薪裁員正常事。對公司忠心﹐這年頭不管用了。這幾天﹐我反復在聽周迅唱的歌﹐外面的世界。我要告訴自己﹐今年一定要離開。吹熄了蠟燭﹐願望就是離開。一離開﹐就不再回來。還記得另外一首﹐走出去就有路﹐尋見的就是福。但願這一天快點來。

感情而言﹐還是一樣。一個人寂寞了好些。看左看右﹐偏偏看不到機會﹐搭不上任何一輛感情巴士。在巴士站待了好久﹐好久。要等多久﹐我的她才會出現。感覺自己有點笨﹐有些被動。但相信﹐我也只可以這樣的等下去。日子還是要過的。所以我常記住一句話﹐
日子﹐不想過﹐也得過。不要過﹐也過得差不多了。

兩個願望足夠了﹐知足才會開心。

慧臺上

telok Blangah hill outing

On September 14, I went trekking with a group of my FO tang friends. Although I have heard of the bridge a couple of times either from newspaper or passing by a few times, this are the first time I actually visit the long bridge (probably the longest bridge is south East Asia)

We reached Hortpark around 9am. We waited a while for all the people to be gathered.
There a couple of twenty odd people with adults and children. We started moving off around 0920min.The whole journey took 1.3km. The bridge was approximately 3-4 storeys high from the ground; it seems a little scary at the start. But after walking a while, the feeling slowly faded.

I took some photo on the bridge along the way, and candid photo of my friend walking up the hill. Some of them are resistant to photo taking, so I can only manage to shoot very few quality photos.

We reached Telok Blangah hill after 40 minutes of walk. We took shelter on a very big
“ting”. We started all activities starting with “Cang Hai” exercise. Later, we turn in to enjoy some snacks. It was told that everyone should bring some food meant for 10 people. But it turn out that many of them has brought much more. Thus the crackers I brought along have no takers, and I have to bring the whole 3 packet back home.

We have 2 more activities after that, it was more localized and more controlled compared to the previous outing at ECP. I guess the organizers should be happier this round.

At 1135, we started to leave the compound and return to Hortpark. The walk back is relative more easily, and a few of us took short cut (to walk staircase instead).On the other hand, the weather had became rather hot and left me sweating once I reached Hortpark. Luckily, there a small air conditioned room so I can “blow “aircon”

Finally all of us went for the nearby hawker center to do our lunch. During the time, they also sang birthday songs to two of the birthday girls. I missed on the occasion as I was delayed trying to find a parking lot. But it’s ok; I can sing birthday song to myself.

Finally, we dispersed at around 2 pm, and that’s the end of the event. Overall, most of the people plus me were relatively happy. I am not sure if the education part was achieved. But at least, our friendship bond grows a bit stronger.



Work wise, things look rather the same. It didn’t get any better; on the other hand, it didn’t get worse either. I got another 2 car since the last car meeting, bringing the total number to 8 cars. The boss hasn’t been talking to me at all. To be precise, he is not in office most of the time. This is the first company where the boss is doing nothing at all to help improve company (at least I can’t see them)

I have started to find jobs either through Job Street or newspaper. LTA came back with one interview at 13 Oct; I must be prepared fully for it. It isn’t really much of engineering based, so I guess chances are pretty low. But if I do really hit on it, I might really jump out of engineering and into something else. For the future, I can’t decide how things really go, I have to walk one step at a time, God bless!!



Maple wise, I got a level 104, things were fairly ok. I spam significantly amount of meso while training at Red Kentaurus. I guess I would have to slow down and start farming meso, probably after I hit level 110. I am planning a 2x for the coming 30 – 1st Oct 08.during this time, I hope to clear exp from 150% to 225%, and anything more would not be desirable


Something on my birthday, although I have chosen to work on 25th, I took leave on the 26th so I can enjoy a long weekend and also took a miss to the most difficult “car” meeting. I spent most of the time in the morning playing maple. Without the planned 2x, leveling is pretty slower. But I have to bear with it, maple are like that. After all it’s only a game. I also took instant noodle and coke which is part of my favorite (and unhealthy food).

I didn’t have as much message greetings as I expected. But nevertheless, with greetings from Siwei, Yunfu, JieKun, Waimun and Weibo, I guess things aren’t so bad either. As the old says, three is equivalent to many, and now I had five. Thus I find no reason to complain. Beside this, I also received a present from FO tang people (a photo album bearing the picture of Garfield and Co). A very nice though of them. I didn’t received any card from my insurance agent, maybe she quited? I didn’t hear from her for half a year.

Now come for wishes for the year 2008. I guess one word can cover every wish for the coming years, “NOTHING”. I guess over my 32 birthdays, nothing had really change, I don’t remember any wish I made all this while come true. I had been difficult in my studies, my works and / or my relationship. Or in a simple word, I lead a difficult life. I guess in times of difficulties, I remind myself the importance of striving hard and hope for less.

I just hope I can keep my head above the water in terms of financial, and ability to help my parents whenever they need me. Doing FO tang activities are priority one for me, other than that, I should just play maple whenever I am free, or I should read books.
Keeping single and quiet is necessary for me.

With Children day coming, I wish all children (and non children) a happy Children day
Hari raya coming on the same day, so I should wish all Muslim a great festival day


Cheers
Toii

Blog July 08

It’s first of August; I thought I should again write something to remember what has been passed over the month of July.

Job wise, I had been in INTERMECH for 3 months and 10 days. Things are getting slightly better and I start to make less mistakes. Although I make some un-necessary error, none of them warrants a ‘CAR’. At least I am successful in preventing CAR’s in the month of July. I would want to thank Mr Chew (purchase) and Mr. Toh (production) for filtering most of the mistake away.

Over the months, I have learnt to take things more seriously. I would have to double check my work (particularly dimensions). I would have to increase my concentration when ever I do something; I had to remind myself not to think of other unnecessary things when doing a certain task. Beside this, I want myself to learn to take critics positively, always see ways to improve myself (through complains). So I can improve every time and every place.

Jobs were pretty busy over the month, with every customer crying for urgency. Everyone had been stressed in one area or another, resulting in conflicts between each dept. there are software “war” occurring with emails “shooting here and there” with all the “CC” and “BCC” making sure everyone knows. But ultimately, hope things don’t get out of control, and things can be solved in a better way. Overall, I done 14.5 hours of OT in the month of July, just hope my finance would be better in the month of August.

During the ‘CARs’ meeting on mid July, the boss scolded me for the big mistake I make during mid Jun, but nevertheless he still give me another chance. I understand that these chances may not come so easily next time. So I must strive to eliminate stupid mistakes

Work a side, and now to my personal time. I spent most of my free time playing maple for pirate PQ. Over the month of July, I managed to do 180+ PQ. Since I only earn 0.3 percent per PQ. I took a whole 2 months to do one level. I am now at present level 99. Kind of really ‘Jiu’ ‘jiu’, (super long to level up). I have done 373 times to date, leaving 127 times more to do.

But looking at my guild nowadays, most guild mate (including Guild master) was no longer active. We have been a very long while without Guild Quest. So leveling is not so important after all, I should strive to earn 50-100m meso to buy a super powerful sword (with WA of 105 and above). The rest I should leave it aside, 4th job is not in my plans for this year, so I should not get too stressed on it.

Over the month of July, I remained as poor. I spent almost all the money inside the bank on either here or there. I managed to clear two car installments this month, so I would not need to pay next month. Save and save would be my slogan for many times to come.


Looking ahead, National day is coming. So I took the chance to wish the nation better than last year progress. I would spend time playing maple at home instead of going outdoor.

My birthday is coming again at Sept 25, nothing so special about the date. But I should just take a day leave and play maple at home, eat instant noodle and coke (all the unhealthy food). Any gifts or cards would be a plus, but I rather look at the negative side and expect none. Friends are just too busy, so don’t bother to disturb them. Be happy alone.

Work wise , I should strive at zero ‘CARs’ again for the month august, I must remind myself all the mistakes I made before and swear not to repeat again. There is a new lady coming to work 2 weeks ago (Anne). We are totally in a different department, and we haven’t even talked before. But I just hope I do have the chance (some stupid wish) to talk to her. Things never go smooth for my relations, and I don’t see exemption this round either. Just thinking of my part, so I could write down and laugh at myself some time in the future when I read this again.

Having wishes is plain stupid. I would strive to be contended most of the time.
God always bless
And this time also (and all the time)
Cheers
toii

A Start of a new era

When I decided to tender my resignation letter on 25 Mar 2008, I thought I would have at least stayed unemployed for a couple of months to come. Therefore, I had planned a series of activities I should do and things I have not been doing for some times.
But things are always so hard to predict. During an interview with intermech (my present employer) at 2nd Apr, I managed to clinch the job on the spot. The manager (Jeffery) confirmed with me after a barely half an hour talk.

During my last few days at STK, things were pretty much the same, people that have spoken to me before, continued to communicate with me. For those who refuse to talk to me, things remain the same. I mean people like Kelvin or co; I guess they are just not bothered. I only managed to have lunch with kok heng, Alan chan, Derick Loh, Rishahb etc.

I still remained slightly busy with some simple jobs, thanks to Rishabh and whye wan. My last few days were indeed made more memorable. On my last day, I managed to email to all my dept colleagues, a few replied, and I guess it is nice. Joyce didn’t reply, but I guess it’s a norm. I won’t see her again, so no use getting upset. At 1700 hours, I say farewell to the building. I guess I would not have the chance to step in again.

Now, I should write for my new job. I started work on 21st of April 2008, where I took SBS 254 and I reached exactly at 0815 hours. I was shown to the desk by the HR personnel (Ms Hoe). I was stationed in the sales and marketing room with 12 partitions and a manager room.

The room was relatively empty and most of the staff was not present. Only from my new colleague, Mr. Mohd Noor, I then realized that, half of the office staff is sales staff and was out of office most of the time. My manager, Mr. Jeffery was also busy, and could not talk to me. I spent most of my time reading cater log books (and for the next two days)

Beside my dept, I was shown to some other dept like customer service, account, purchase , production, QC, store and IT dept. there are some ladies though, and to say pretty? I should just say maybe. But the most important thing is, they are relatively friendly (much better than the people I see in STK), so are the guys as well. People like Rosalind (Customer service), who greet good morning to everyone she see, and Raymond (sales) who is a bit long winded (but is good) in trying to explain on my job scope. This type of colleagues is one of the main reasons if I could stay for years.

Job wise, I was relatively free for the first two day. The lunch timing was ok (45 minutes). I bring packet food for the first three days, but when I realized there vegetarian available two streets away, I decided to spent my lunch there instead. During the tea time, no one seems to take tea break at all. I guess all of them all very busy.

From a staff meeting with the GM, I realized that several staffs were relatively new. Their work duration ranges from one month to three months, leading me to ponder why the overturn rate is so high. No one offer me any answers. I guess I have to work a little longer and experience it. Just hope with such a nice working colleagues, I won’t have to see them leaving so soon.

Work load wise, I started to get busier when I pick up the skills. I admit that I have finally relived myself from full time drafting. I spent more time creating quotation or creating BOM list (for production). With my work load, it’s almost impossible that I have the chance of dozing off. I still have to create drawing at times, but I see them as relatively minor. For this time, I hope I have got my path right and able to last a very long while.

Overall, looking at my new job, I am positive that I should be able to last for quite a while. I also hope to have a slight increment on my salary after the six month probation.

Personnel things wise, there are insignificant changes. My maple still at level 97, and I foresee slow progress over the month of May, I should only start to buck up end May or early Jun. Only till then, I should be able to hit level 100.

Relationship wise, there are still no progress at all. I can’t tell if anyone from my present office that could be the special one, but I just do not have the confidence things works so easily. I need to sit and wait (and wait a long period). I have sign up for match.com again using 140 sing dollars for 6 months. What chance do I have? I can’t foresee and I can’t predict. I told myself, to try (attempt) is crucial. But result is unknown, so as long as I managed to try, I should not get too upset.

Final things to say, my father persist that he can’t accept rental vehicles (to clear his gara Guni product). I guess buying van is almost the only option I have. I should spend two weeks to look out. I promised myself to get one van by end May, so my father’s thing would not stack up too much. I can’t fulfill his desire to buy truck as it really serves no function to me. I just hope he can take a step back and accept the van instead.


I should stop here and continue later
God always bless and this time is no exception
Cheers
Toii

January Update

It’s the start of 2008, and I should start to write the first blog of the year.

Every January, at this time, I spent time to look back and review what had I achieved over the year 2007. Time had passed, and things had become history. So I have looked back, and what do I see?


Work wise, I had spent the first year in ST kinetics. “Sad” is the word most described feeling I had during most of the time I stayed here, and occasionally, the word “depressed” is suitable as well. “Sad is because I still can’t fit into so call STK Culture” and I had a very poor colleague relationship.


I got my appraisal grade last week, which is a “D”. Of the whole unit, I am the only one the get the failing grade. The VP spent a while to talk to me on the performance issue. From then, I was informed of why I got such a poor grade. Majority of the reasons come from my immediate superior, Kelvin. He had marked down several negative comments, which I personally disagree.


But then, to the management, it seems the verdict is confirmed. And I was not given opportunity to protest or anything like this. My manager, Kok heng, fails to speak up for me as well. I have no choice but to accept the verdict. The grade also means I lose my entire bonus for the year 2008, even the one on NDP bonus. To me, it’s a great set back. It’s means all my spending plans gone. It’s a difficult time for me to endure.

After this, I was told that I had only 3 months of improvement period, in which if I don’t buck up, I have to go. Obviously, it come down to two options, Change or Go
. So I spent a long while to ponder on the two options, what could I do next? Do I have to label myself as “stupid” and “useless”? Do I have the chance or time to change? What are the consequences if I fail to do in three months (and get terminated)? So do I need to “self kill” (resign) or should I just wait to “get killed” (termination). Which is the better choice? Or are both of them lousy? But then, I have to pick one of them. Just hope someone out there (or upstairs?) that can give advice.


After I looked back, it’s seems the reason I failed to well is to have good colleague relations. I could not get due support from them either work or personal. In which the management view it as a critical issue. Maybe, I tell myself, lets embrace the idea of changing (for 4-6 weeks). I try to talk to those people more often, even if they ignore me, but that’s ok. Work wise, I promised myself to be more proactive, willing to admit more mistakes, allows people to “slap” my face more often. In simple words, every thing I can think to improve myself.

But then if this does not work, I will have to shift my thoughts to “GO” I had prepared my resume and start to look for new jobs. But then, with my poor portfolio, I guess changing job can be tougher then I ever imagine. I had mentally prepared to throw towel latest by 15 mar, if my manager is not convinced of my improvement. Until then, if I still can’t find a new job, I may just spent time playing maple at home, read books and exercise. I convinced this year will be a tougher year ahead (and it seems every year to me is tough year)


That’s all to say about my work, I should also say something on my personal updates.
Personally, I went for the first interview with the match making service. Starting, a gentlemen interviewed me, his comment on me was ok (except that my hair a bit short). He briefed me on the points to look out on meeting future partners. Things become a bit thorny when money becomes an issue. The cost was 1200 dollars for 6 tries. He mentioned that the price was reasonable to get a life partner. But maybe just that I not mentally and financially prepared for the sum of money. The staff seemed a bit turned off after indication that I might not afford the fees.

Later a lady continued to interview me; she mentioned that most of her clients (ladies) were university graduate with high post. Naturally, their expectations are high also. But she says will come back to me if she see suitable ones. She also mentioned if I could consider ladies from china, Indonesia etc. I was a bit turned off by the suggestion. To me, at least for now, I would still want to have to local partner (or the furthest, Malaysian, and a Chinese with a flare for mandarin.) Maybe I was too choosy bah, or maybe I have to drop some of the points in order to have one. I have to see again.

It has been a fortnight since I heard from them. They have not come back with any quote of money (fee). Maybe they believe I stand no chance. But then, come back to it, with my job hanging in the lifeline, maybe it would not be appropriate to think of the option now. After all, without my bonus, all my planning goes hay wire. I have to shelve several plans (including buying car)


After looking backwards, now I should look forward. What can I visualize? There are so many things unclear, the road ahead seems bumpy. And I presume falling down several times more this year, and years coming down.


But then, I state my wish. (Or dream impossible) if I see this negatively. I just hope to have a Girlfriend. Things are so difficult, 100 miracles can’t bring me there. But then, I guess I can only dream. I just want to think positively only, let’s wait and wait. Just believe at one day, my dream may really come true. Dreams can be nice at times.

Back to reality, I just hope things stay the same (not worse). I have dumped all my cpf savings to investment plans (presumably, I won’t have to chance to use them for a very long period) and maybe no use at all.


Transport wise, since buying car is no longer an option, maybe I should really think hard on buying a bike ( for convenience). At least, I foresee my present job require some traveling.

I am still maple now, I can’t decide on which level I should stop. For now, I should concentrate on getting level 100, and ability to fight “ergoth” for GQ

Again too long a blog. I have spent 45 minutes typing this thing. So I should stay quiet for a while, and hope my next blog and be a little more positive and short

God bless
Cheers
Toii

A day with the court (Nov 22)

Last Friday, I got a call from traffic police headquarters around midnight, telling me that my father was arrested again for drink driving. I have to go the HQ at UBI AVE 3 to bail him out. The is second time I have to bail him in 6 weeks. The first time, he is lucky to have got away with a warning. But this round, he wasn’t so lucky. He failed the breather test with a reading of 102 (pass is 80 or 85, I can’t remember). On that night, my father was being served with a court charge, so he will have to attend court21 at 22 Nov, and that is last week.

Although my father told me that he can go by himself, but I still made the decision of following him instead. This is one of the toughest parts of his life, and I sincerely believe that he needs support and I will have to be with him at such times. Never mind how many leaves I had remained, as long as I take them with purpose, things going to be fine.

On the Thursday, I went over to my dad house at 0710. We took some breakfast at coffee shop before taking a taxi there. We reached the subordinate court at 0835 which is fairly early for a 9 o’clock appointment. There were a lot of people also facing similar traffics charges waiting there as well. The court started at 0900 hours, which my father went in with several others. I wasn’t allowed to sit in, so I have to stay outside. The wait, surprisely turn out to be very long. I wait more than 3 hours for my father's charge to be deal with.

I had seen those people that had their lawyers with them. They had the privileges of jumping queue and able to have the case heard within minutes. I felt rather unfair, is those people than can't employ lawyers less important that those who did? Or simply money counts? I overheard a guy saying that to employ a lawyer needs 2K+++, and the lawyer could help us postponed the punishment (revoke of license), but can they really help us reduce the sentence? For a while, I regret not trying to engage a lawyer for my father's case (so he has to wait so long in the court). On the other hand, I still managed to convinced myself that, my father case is a sure lose case, I might as well save the money , and hope if I have the spare cash, I will pass to him to use.

At 1130 hours, my father case was finally settled; he got a 4000 dollar fine and a 3yr ban on all driving. At that time, he had only 1400 in his pocket and me 2K in my bank. The police officer didn’t want to use help us by asking the judge to allow installments, and I don’t see the point to beg for it either. My father passed me his house key, so I could fetch the cash from his house. Its was a very anxious period, as before I know it, my father was being kept in the lockup during the time when I went to collect the money.

Since 12pm - 2pm is lunch time, so I have to wait until 2pm to bail my dad out. I was so anxious that I can t eat well, so I skip my lunch. Only until 2 pm I got back to the court, pay the fines (with a fat stack of 50 dollar notes). This is the first time I carry such money. I waited another 45 minutes before seeing my father. It had been rather slow, but then I heard from my dad that they do serve lunch during his time inside the lockup, I guess thing are not so bad after all

Looking backwards, we spent almost a day at the court, and the lump sum of fine. During the wait outside, I also overheard a family talk. Its about 3K fine and 3 weeks of default jail term. Which is more "Wu Hua [Hokkien]" (better)? After all, as the daughter mentioned, 3 weeks replacing 3000 bucks is good. After all, we can’t earn 3000 in 3 weeks .On the other hand, the mum says that freedom is more important. Maybe if this question will to be post on rich people, answer is pretty obvious. But to some poor families who have to borrow here and there to pay the sum, then this would be a tough choice. Paying fine means freedom but in debts. What’s your take?

I guess my father didn’t choose the default jail term over the fine. Although he is poorer, at least he's still a free man. The sad part is that he got a 3 year ban on his license. He can no longer drive. He looked rather depressed that he can't drive anymore. He used to say that he can work as a driver only, but now he loses his driving license, I wonder if he can still accept other jobs, must pray that he does.

For me, I finally got back the use of the van. For now, imp still pondering how long should I keep on the driving the van, or should I scrap for a new one. On the other hand, I must see if I have the ability to buy new one. I will have to think and decide by the end of this week. Tough choice.

For my maple, due to increased Fo tang activities ( which is a nice thing) , I didn’t managed to do a level 85 this month , so I should just slow down. I m now at level 81... So I should just play slowly. 85 at end of the year should be just fine

I guess I should just stop here again
God bless everything I have
So I should not worry things I don’t have
Be Happy
Cheers
Toii