Times flies, and half of the difficult year 09 had passed. Although I had spent more than half of the time unemployed, but I must give thanks to GOD for giving me a job at the time I require the most.
The job I am doing now surely is not my preferred option. But as days goes by, I started to reduce my expectation. I have started to accept the fate that drafting should be my job scope for many years to come. It is good to admit that I am only slightly better in ACAD, and poor at others.
Colleague relationship has improved gradually over the period. Although I spent most of my lunch time alone, there are once a while my colleagues would compromise their lunch venue to bring me to place where there are vegetarian.
Finance wise, I still not out of the woods yet. I still the guy which dries up almost everything in his bank few days before another pay day arrives, but at least I managed to clear some of the overdue phone and internet bills last month.
Personal wise, it had been a difficult moments when I “quarreled with some people over the Face book game “Friends for sale”. I indeed upset over the fiasco, but not because of all remarks passed by Zhiwei, but rather that no one stand by my side to speak up for me.
Finally, I deleted 5 friends over this issue and blocked one people.
But looking backwards, what are the consequences? I guess I lost all this “friends”. For a while, I ponder on the meaning of friends. I guess I will never have a perfect answer for such difficult question.
Looking at friends as a whole, I start to realize that many of the friends I had in Face book or Friendster didn’t talk to me at all. So I must admit that if friends ignore me, it is perfectly alright. If I being treated invisible, it was because, we have no topic between us.
If I had known and accept these fact, I would not have placed high hopes that someone could speak up for me. Then I would not have done all the deletion. But things have been done and glass broken, they are not reversible.
I guess I can only look ahead. Treasure friendship when they are around, let go if the heart is no longer there. The lesson I learnt is to be less reliable to friends, be independent more often and take charge of my life. I must admit that without friends, life can be boring. But other than this, life still goes on. I could overcome this period by finding books to read, and meaningful things to do.
I should also strive to play less game, particularly with teenagers. I must constantly remind myself that I already a 30 plus year old uncle, I can’t be playing games with young gals and boys (like FFS). I strive not to quarrel over minor game issue, give in / give up and go away when required. During times of misunderstanding, keep quiet would be a better solution.
In simple words, I don’t believe In Miracle. i no longer desire to make new friends. I told myself, I had more then enough friends. I should strive to chat less to those “friends” which reluctant to chat with me. 知足還是一好事。
I still playing maple. But without the active participation of guild members, I have been largely playing with myself. The desire to “raise level” is no longer there and I just play it to pass time.
Looking forward, my main focus for the coming months would still be on my parents and my job and my FO tang activities. Other than all this, I should strive to keep away from the other activities.
I should joining Karaoke during the next month company function. By keeping colleague relationship smooth, I can get a longer and better working environment with IR.
God bless everything I do
I should not ask for more.
God bless
Cheers
Toii
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